February 2011
Attention girls of facebook: →
afternoonsnoozebutton.com
I would like to lay out some ground rules for taking your profile picture with a webcam. It’s totally possible to take a nice, normal picture. Exhibit A:
But, most of the time, when someone uses a webcam to take a photo, they look really dumb. Here’s 10 pointers to avoid looking like a complete idiot:
1. Back the hell up. We don’t want to see your pores
Imagine how weird it would be if you were this close in real life.
2. Don’t make weird hand gestures.
As my US history teacher said, “It means third grade, three times.”
3. Keep your damn clothes on.
Hundreds of people see your shit; there’s no way ALL of them want to see you in the buff. Dignity, people.
4. No weird expressions. You don’t look cool and spontaneous - in fact, we think you look disturbed.
Don’t judge me, I have facial deformities.
5. Absolutely no duckface.
You aren’t a lipstick model, it’s not attractive.
6. Don’t hold a wad of cash.
g3ttin monies
7. Don’t show us your tattoo. We think it’s stupid.
“idk it’s Chinese for like tomato or something”
8. Don’t black and white/sepia yourself. We have moved into the 21st century, your camera should do the same.
I’m hoping the classiness of the sepia makes up for how unclassy I really am.
9. Don’t use that Mac “colored pencil” effect. We think you look like a vampire.
You guys can’t see my acne this way, right?
10. Don’t Picnik your picture or add song lyrics to it.
We don’t think you’re deep, and we judge your taste in music.
On behalf of your facebook friends, thanks for sparing us the agony of another duckfaced Picnik’d girl in her bra holding cash while doing the west side symbol in black and white.
Amen
Silly boys
OMG OMG OMFG I AM LITERALLY DYING →
stumbleupon.com
So delicious and cute
Listen
“Elderly Woman Behind the Counter In a Small Town,” by Pearl Jam at Lollapalooza 2007
Pearl Jam will always hold a special place in my heart.
January 2011
Dear weather, if you prevent me from seeing Jon Stewart, something I've been looking forward to for years, my retribution will be swift and furious.
“
Because the individual mandate is unconstitutional and not severable, the entire Act must be declared void. This has been a difficult decision to reach, and I am aware that it will have indeterminable implications. At a time when there is virtually unanimous agreement that health care reform is needed in this country, it is hard to invalidate and strike down a statute titled “The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.”
It is difficult to imagine that a nation which began, at least in part, as the result of opposition to a British mandate giving the East India Company a monopoly and imposing a nominal tax on all tea sold in America would have set out to create a government with the power to force people to buy tea in the first place.
” —From the decision handed down by Florida Federal District Court judge ROGER VINSON essentially striking down the new healthcare reform law, ruling part of it unconstitutional.
Dear Judge Vinson: I’m not a lawyer, but tea and healthcare, with all due respect, are NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING.
